How to Make it as a Real World Private Investigator

1. Repeat after me, "I am not a cop, it is not my job to save the world, or see that truth and justice prevails; I am a private citizen, privately employed by a private party to further their best interests within the limits of the law (and common sense)."

2. If you allow yourself to get shot, or hit in the head, it will hurt just as bad whether you are in the right, or in the wrong, and either way, you are neither more, nor less, likely to recover.

3. Life can be JUST LIKE television and the movies - if you get yourself dead or debilitated, there will be an incredible outpouring of sympathy and sorrow for an equally incredibly short period of time, and then none of those wonderfully sorrowful/sympathetic people will ever think of you, or mention you again.

4. You are in this for the money - do not feel bad about that, or apologetic. When my car quits, or my plumbing bursts, nobody comes racing to the rescue in the spirit of altruistic intent, and nobody with the sense God gave dirt should expect you to either. Get paid, get paid up front, and charge what the market will bear -- Warner Brothers is not paying your bills.

5. DO NOT get emotionally involved in your cases. Most of your Clients will be sad, sorry, stupid sons-of-bitches who are in the mess they are in because they deserve to be. If you expect to meet the whore with a heart of gold, the thief with honest intentions, or a murderer with deep intellectual nsights, you best be standing in line at the Cineplex.

6. NEVER expect things NOT to make sense. The way things first look, is usually the way they are . . . unless you see Steven Spielberg hiding behind a curtain, do NOT look for complex twists and convoluted plots.

7. NEVER expect things TO make sense. Human beings are only at the top of the evolutionary scale because they are the only animals who can say they are - few other animals kill for the fun of it, deliberately end their own lives, or molest their own young. The way things first look, is usually the way they are . . . whether or not it makes any sense at all.

8. Accept NOBODY at face value - people believe in lifelong love, friends to the end, and the nobility of humanity because the concepts appeal to them, and they go thru life reading from the script until the script doesn't suit them anymore. Look for the truth, and believe what you see; if you have no great expectations of humanity, you will rarely be disappointed.

9. Accept EVERYONE at face value within the circle of people that are your life. If you become very good at this job, you will see ugly truths where you need to see good things, you will recognize lies told by people you need to believe in, and you will sense evil when you need to have faith. Leave yourself the latitude to allow yourself some illusions.

10. This is it, this is all there is, it's once around the track and there is no "do over." Do it all the best you can, expect nothing more of yourself than the best you can do, and when you disappoint yourself today, try to do a little better tomorrow. If you do not enjoy your life, change it!!!!.

Respectfully!!!

Fernando J Rodriguez
PIGlobal Investigative Research Bureau
Po Box 17044,
Plantation, Fl 33318
Office: (954) 624-6258
Agency License A-2600169